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07/12/2010 // HOW TO, INFO 8 Comments

How to be a dangerous cyclist


Dangerous cycling

Normally going slowly is associated with more careful cyclists. However there is a distinct type of rider who will rarely get into an accident themselves but cause plenty. I was stuck behind someone like this today.

To qualify as a this type of rider you need to check off some very important habits:

1. Tunnel vision. Ideally you are completely unaware of what is going on around you and especially behind you. Your neck should never be turned more than 45 degrees left or right. After all if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. And if doesn’t exist, it can’t hurt you.

2. Accelerate fast to low top speed. It is very important that you accelerate fast off every traffic light (if you make the mistake of stopping for one) but then cycle very slowly. Whatever you do don’t let other faster cyclists go past if you can possibly help it. If you don’t stop at traffic lights make sure it’s at busy junctions for maximum impact.

3. Like narrow roads. Always cycle on roads where it’s almost possible to overtake. This means that you can cause the maximum inconvenience to everyone else.

4. Annoy drivers. This is always a good tactic because you’re going slowly enough not to get hit but wind up the drivers enough that they lose concentration and make mistakes that other cyclists pay for. Or deliberately exact revenge for later.

Follow these 4 rules and you too can be obliviously causing chaos on your daily commute.

8 comments [leave one]
maryka December 7, 2010 at 3:43 pm

That’s it, blame the cyclist. Is this a real cyclist blog or just a front for the car alliance? Nice pic up there by the way, glad to know that if I get killed it must have been my fault for riding on a narrow road, pulling away from a green light quickly, or riding “slowly enough not to get hit but wind up the drivers enough that they… deliberately exact revenge for later”. Because hey, it’s not their fault right, they can hit whoever they want and just blame the previous cyclist they saw for making them do it?

If this is a serious post, it’s seriously irresponsible.


James - Going Going Bike December 7, 2010 at 5:07 pm

We’re all cyclists here. My point was bad cyclists like bad drivers cause problems for other people. Was meant to be provocative but tongue in cheek blog. Am not seriously encouraging either people to cycle / drive dangerously or justify road accidents


Oz December 7, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Very good points. The type of rider you describe can be found everywhere. Even offroad


Kim December 7, 2010 at 8:09 pm

And remember if there is an accident always the victim, it is never the drivers fault….


Nick Hussey December 8, 2010 at 12:24 am

Heh, cyclists are imperfect too shock! It’s almost as if there are bad cyclists and bad motorists. Like a sort of shared human trait, cos were all humans.
So on that one I disagree with you Maryka.
It’s just a blog, and a good one. But I don’t like pic!


John the Monkey December 8, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Agree on (1). Sort of agree on (2) (although there’s no problem with being slow – I can deal with that and will overtake once it’s safe for us both).

3 and 4?

Not so much. Drivers and cyclists can’t always be behind someone faster than them, and it’s for them to make allowances and continue to ride/drive in a way that’s safe for everyone. Drivers that get annoyed because they can’t reach the next red light as quickly as they’d like aren’t more “forced” to make dangerous manouevres, lose concentration &c. Indeed, if they’re unable to maintain control of their vehicle in such circumstances they shouldn’t be on the road.


James - Going Going Bike December 8, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Thanks for all the comments and feedback. It is always good to discuss important points like these
@John Agree that patience is important and no matter how badly someone’s cycling there’s no excuse to follow suit with dangerous behaviour
@Nick Thanks and agree on the picture – it’s a sight that none of us like or ever want to be involved in
@Kim It does sometimes feel like that!
@Oz The blog was inspired by the worst rider I’ve seen for months but it’s certainly not the only time.


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